chaoswolf

Happy b-day,

christophine.

I wish it were a happy day for me.....My love life has been shattered. Her mom knows. I don't think I'll be able to see her again except at school. I'm so depressed right now I don't give a shit about my essays. I don't give a fuck. I'm sorry if I offend anyone with my next set of words.

DAMN YOU FUCKING RELIGIOUS ASSHOLES WHO BELIEVE THAT JUST BECAUSE I WEAR BLACK MEANS I'M EVIL! MEET ME FIRST BEFORE YOU MAKE YOUR FUCKING JUDGEMENTAL PERSPECTIVES TO DETERMINE THEN IF I AM TRULY AN ENEMY!!!!!!! FUCK YOU ALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: crushed/hopeless
Current Music: Never Lose Hope ---- Uffington

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

glittercat13.livejournal.com

[Okay. Here's the rest of it.]

They take one look at Chaos and probably see *goth* (Don't they shoot people and drink blood and stuff??? Eeeeeeeeeee!!!!!) and gloom (And, I guarantee, they don't see someone else's child or an artist, they just see the surface.) and make the *logical* (Yeah. Really. It is.) and oh-so-very-wrong snap judgment. Of course, it doesn't help that, if you engage them in a *calm* conversation, they'll play the (too damned valid too often to ignore) "We've been around a lot longer than you have and know more. You just have to trust us on this." card. Of course, there will be few things better designed to piss you off and if/when the conversation turns emotional, you get the "You see. You're still an emotional child and we need to protect you." sort of logic that probably has you gagging on your own rage.

So, quick and easy fixes? There really aren't any. I don't know if you're still in high school or not but if you are, I'd say, stay in school and the two of you see each other away from your home. If you have already graduated, then maybe it's time to look for a job and a place of your own. If you're in college currently, consider looking for a part-time job, roommate and an apartment - even if it's just a little one.

Yes, it's a whole lot of work and a heap of stress of it's own. However, you will be able to break the umbilical cord and step off as an adult. In spite of all the new stressors (and, believe it or not, the fears as you break away from all you know and are comfortable with), you will find a great deal of peace and joy in the very act of dealing with everything that is new and strange and *grown up* and discovering that you CAN handle it, thank you very much. In fact, you might even find that your relationship with your parents improves as they have to slowly accept the fact that you really are an adult. And you won't mind the babying so much when you get it in little doses when you go to *their* home and can leave and go home to *your* place. It's a very empowering feeling!!!

But, be warned, if they're still walking the planet when you are 80, you will *still* be their baby! Like I said, it part of the software that came bundled with you when first they took you, as an infant, in their arms, took one look at your sweet, fresh, new, unique, little face and fell in love in a way they'd never imagined they could.

Try to understand them. Forgive them if you can. Someday, you may have a child of your own that you'll hope for as much from. :) And, in the meantime, live, love, prosper, and grow. When all is said and done, that's all any parent REALLY wants for his/her children!

(((hugs)))

From:

chaoswolf

OK. I sorta see where your point lies. Though to look for a part time job in an economy that is discriminant towards anyone on anti-depressants is next to impossible. I don't know about her success finding a job, but my job hunt has led nowhere.

Because of the way her mother judged me on first sight, I don't know if forgiveness is possible until I have an actual discussion with her. Person to person, woman to woman and my proving that I am not devilspawn and corrupt.

From:

kshandra

Though to look for a part time job in an economy that is discriminant towards anyone on anti-depressants is next to impossible.

Honey, where the FUCK did you get the impression that you need to tell a prospective employer that you're on anti-depressants? There are jobs out there, to be certain, that require a certain level of physical fitness, and as such will expect their employees to pass medical exams (ask

dafydd about that sometime). But you're not going to find any of those at Valley Fair. And while Goth-n-Go or Boardwalk Fries or whatever may do random drug testing, that's for opiates and marijuana. Nothing else - and if you find out they are testing for SSRIs and reporting back to your employer, you've got one HELL of a case with the ACLU.

Because of the way her mother judged me on first sight, I don't know if forgiveness is possible until I have an actual discussion with her.

And yet, by the same token, an actual discussion is probably unlikely for a long time, due to that same snap judgement. And there's also the possibility that trying to pressure her for the chance to talk, to prove your worth as a human being, will backfire and she'll want even less to do with you. So breathe, and honor the woman's wishes for now. Trying to find a way around them won't do you any favors when it comes to changing her image of you.

From:

drewkitty.livejournal.com

>> Nothing else - and if you find out they are testing for SSRIs and reporting back to your employer, you've got one HELL of a case with the ACLU.

Yup. There are police officers out there on SSRIs prescribed post-hire.

All I get off a drug screen is "Negative" or "Medical Review." Then I might get a negative from the physician -- but it's only happened twice in two years.

From:

glittercat13.livejournal.com

Actually, though the post was certainly meant for both of you, I was answering her earlier comment. I can see where you may have some problems with finding work and, certainly, until you've got experience, getting a good-paying job is a challange. (Must have experience to get a job; must have a job to get experience - works the same for credit and lots of other things in life as well. Very annoying but universal and timeless. It's a pain but can be worked through.)

As others have said, you don't need to mention the anti-depressants as long as you're taking them and they are doing their job. *If* they drug test and come back with issues, you can then *mention* that you have issues which you and your doctor are dealing with. Trust me, I don't mention my arthritis in job interviews unless they mention that I'm going to have to manhandle 50 pound boxes or some such! :)

As for her, she'll have the same problems with getting an entry level job for crap money so that she can build up enough experience to get a job that *might* pay for an (or a portion of an) aparment. That's why I mentioned the roommate idea. L.A. has sucky aparment prices but I find they are just as bad in San Diego and I'm sure as bad or worse up there. *sigh* Welcome to the 21st Century.

My main thrust was to hope you could both understand where her parents are coming from - not that you'll like it or agree with it but have some idea of why and make some allowance. In other words, don't take it personally, her mom is doing the standard mother-protecting-her-young shtick. See her away from home if you both want to but going to war with Mom puts everyone in a losing situation in the long run.

More than that, it makes sure that Mom permanently puts you on the "enemies list" as opposed to starting out with the belief that you're the devil incarnate (or whatever) and, *slowly* by force of your actions and reactions, coming to understand that you are a stable, caring person who agrees with her about how special her daughter is. (Mind, that will probably be a *very* slow process if she's really got it in her head that you are a *bad* influence or she's ultra-"Christian" or whatever.)

I suppose, my advice for you is the same as I give myself in conflict situations: If there isn't a clear and relatively simple fix, it's always a better idea to take the high ground (morally, ethically, whatever). If you do, whether you win or lose, in the long run you always win 'cause, at the very end of the day, you have to live with you - no one else - YOU! That's mandatory. So, knowing you did everything you could and played fair means that, if you win, it's truly a victory. If you lose, you know that you did *all* you could and made it a clean battle. It sure puts down the daemons of woulda/shoulda/coulda/if-only that tend to cluster around at such times. Most of all, you can always "walk tall" and proudly.

Love you, Hon, and only wish good things for you in your life and with your Lady. Take care and remember, as slowly as time may run from day to day now, it's amazing how fast it *went* as you look back. You will survive! And, if it's meant to be, so will your relationship. :>

(((hugs)))

From:

glittercat13.livejournal.com

Gee. Aren't you glad I don't post here all the time? You'd go blind from all the reading you'd have to do. :)

Hang in there. Sure hope you can make it down for LosCon. :)