(no subject)

[chaoswolf]

Happy b-day, chipuni and christophine.

I wish it were a happy day for me.....My love life has been shattered. Her mom knows. I don't think I'll be able to see her again except at school. I'm so depressed right now I don't give a shit about my essays. I don't give a fuck. I'm sorry if I offend anyone with my next set of words.

DAMN YOU FUCKING RELIGIOUS ASSHOLES WHO BELIEVE THAT JUST BECAUSE I WEAR BLACK MEANS I'M EVIL! MEET ME FIRST BEFORE YOU MAKE YOUR FUCKING JUDGEMENTAL PERSPECTIVES TO DETERMINE THEN IF I AM TRULY AN ENEMY!!!!!!! FUCK YOU ALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

Long post - part 1 of 2 - please read all before you reply

[glittercat13.livejournal.com]

Ah! I sit corrected.

Okay. I'm going to throw another thought into the mix. It won't change anything and, almost certainly, won't make either of you feel any better, but may help a tiny bit to understand their point of view. Note that I say this without knowing you...or them...or anything about the various dynamics. This is just the POV of a parent.

My daughter, Valentina (ask Chaos about her), is 23 now and, as nearly as I can tell, doing a great job of rebuilding herself and her life. She never gave me any serious concerns before she turned 18. A little wildness but much, much less than I indulged in at her age (in a soooooooo very much safer world) and an inordinate amount of common sense. However, from 18 to 21, she made some really ungood life choices, ones that caused her no end of trouble to sort out and some of which she's still working with.

Had she still been living at home and I had the opportunity to build a fence around her and "protect" her, I probably would have. Note that I can tell you freely that it would not have been a good thing to do as she seems to have grown some daemons that needed exorcising and, had I wrapped her in cotton-wool, she'd have only done so later. However, as a mother, all I wanted to do is keep my "baby" safe and protect her - even, if necessary, from herself. It ain't logical. It ain't rational. It really isn't even sensible. But it IS. It's part of that whole mothering package that comes wrapped in the fuzzy blanket with the baby they hand you in the hospital. (Oh yeah, and it never really ends. I said she's 23 now. I haven't talked with her in over a week but, every day, I think of her, hope she's well, wish she'd drop a dime just to say hi, etc. Only, I know she need space to grow without me hovering. She's well and truly an adult now and I need to respect that - even if it makes me a little nuts inside.)

Anyhoo, since you live at home, there's no clear break for you OR for your parents; no clearly marked boundary that says "I am *now* an adult and, while you can suggest, ask, cajole, request, whine, etc., you CANNOT order me to do or not do anything any more." Without that, even if they are really trying to be aware, motivated, it's-time-to-leave-the-nest-and-spread-your-wings parents, it's too darned easy for them to fall back into (or never step out of) the old parent/child set-up.

[end Part I - darned LJ wouldn't take it all in one gulp]