Sorry

[chaoswolf]

Excerpt taken from 06-16-05
I am so fucking sorry. You know how many times one can say that phrase before it loses it's meaning entirely...? If there is no point to living, fine. Go ahead. End it. I seriuosly don't want to deal with the emotional backlash of dealing forever with the pain that you have caused. I want it to end, but at the same time I want to become stronger, which is why I still live. I learned partially from my mistakes. You'd think I would finish learning that other part by now.....

This is about my mood right now. The text that is about to ensue is rated R for pissed off uber gamer potentially insulting material. I apologize to any gamer who reads behind the cut, and I assure you it's not directed at you, but at the Starport Gaming Group that has infested my house for years. I told the gamers that I had other plans, and now @ least one of them never wants to come back because I stopped gaming with them about 2 months ago. Yes, it's true. I have been dealing with school, and stuff from my life. I've also been looking into a job, and having problems with family that required my attention more urgently than gaming. super_star_girl is blaming me for causing Phil not to come back. That's fine. I don't really give a fucking damn if I ever speak to him again. I have my life to lead, and there's always another game to play. Life isn't just about gaming, morons!!!! It is a lot harder to live & survive than it is to game, and if life were just a game, I would be better off. It's not a game. I realize this now, and I have accepted the consequences of many summers sitting on my ass and wishing I was employed. I have gotten off my ass and applied to 12 places, I believe. I have done more this summer than I have ever done in a single summer, and my summer has only started a week ago.

Comments

[mira-fastfire.livejournal.com]

It's refreshing to see another gamer realize that. I haven't gamed anything but #furrydbz for long enough that I'm not sure I count as a gamer anymore. XP

Still. I, at least, support your efforts to live and survive.

[chaoswolf]

Glad someone does.....

[jilara.livejournal.com]

I should get you some of the Knights of the Dinner Table comics. I laugh, because it reminds me of games I've been in. I sorta cry/dispair because some of the characters are such losers. People who lose jobs because they've called in late for work, so that they can game, one time too many. People who get pissed because one of the members drops out of a game for a while because she's dating. (And she gets pissed when she finds out the guy dating her is only interested because she's a girl gamer.) Like people I've known.

If gaming is that important, it's no longer a game, it's an addiction, just like booze or crack or something, and people need to seek help. But they won't, because denial is more than just a river in Egypt...

[aerowolf.livejournal.com]

I'd suggest Space Channel 5 news over the Channel 5 News. Y'know, just for the retrofuturistic style and stuff.

[mdlbear]

Right on, kid!

Sorry the family is causing you so much grief right now. We're trying. (Yeah, I know... very trying, sometimes.)

Illegitimi non carborundum. (Don't let the bastards grind you down.)