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chaoswolfExcerpt taken from 06-16-05
I am so fucking sorry. You know how many times one can say that phrase before it loses it's meaning entirely...? If there is no point to living, fine. Go ahead. End it. I seriuosly don't want to deal with the emotional backlash of dealing forever with the pain that you have caused. I want it to end, but at the same time I want to become stronger, which is why I still live. I learned partially from my mistakes. You'd think I would finish learning that other part by now.....
This is about my mood right now. The text that is about to ensue is rated R for pissed off uber gamer potentially insulting material. I apologize to any gamer who reads behind the cut, and I assure you it's not directed at you, but at the Starport Gaming Group that has infested my house for years. I told the gamers that I had other plans, and now @ least one of them never wants to come back because I stopped gaming with them about 2 months ago. Yes, it's true. I have been dealing with school, and stuff from my life. I've also been looking into a job, and having problems with family that required my attention more urgently than gaming.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
super_star_girl is blaming me for causing Phil not to come back. That's fine. I don't really give a fucking damn if I ever speak to him again. I have my life to lead, and there's always another game to play. Life isn't just about gaming, morons!!!! It is a lot harder to live & survive than it is to game, and if life were just a game, I would be better off. It's not a game. I realize this now, and I have accepted the consequences of many summers sitting on my ass and wishing I was employed. I have gotten off my ass and applied to 12 places, I believe. I have done more this summer than I have ever done in a single summer, and my summer has only started a week ago.
I am so fucking sorry. You know how many times one can say that phrase before it loses it's meaning entirely...? If there is no point to living, fine. Go ahead. End it. I seriuosly don't want to deal with the emotional backlash of dealing forever with the pain that you have caused. I want it to end, but at the same time I want to become stronger, which is why I still live. I learned partially from my mistakes. You'd think I would finish learning that other part by now.....
This is about my mood right now. The text that is about to ensue is rated R for pissed off uber gamer potentially insulting material. I apologize to any gamer who reads behind the cut, and I assure you it's not directed at you, but at the Starport Gaming Group that has infested my house for years. I told the gamers that I had other plans, and now @ least one of them never wants to come back because I stopped gaming with them about 2 months ago. Yes, it's true. I have been dealing with school, and stuff from my life. I've also been looking into a job, and having problems with family that required my attention more urgently than gaming.
super_star_girl is blaming me for causing Phil not to come back. That's fine. I don't really give a fucking damn if I ever speak to him again. I have my life to lead, and there's always another game to play. Life isn't just about gaming, morons!!!! It is a lot harder to live & survive than it is to game, and if life were just a game, I would be better off. It's not a game. I realize this now, and I have accepted the consequences of many summers sitting on my ass and wishing I was employed. I have gotten off my ass and applied to 12 places, I believe. I have done more this summer than I have ever done in a single summer, and my summer has only started a week ago.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 01:34 am (UTC)