chaoswolf

As you folks may or may not have heard: I went to Loscon. This isn't a post to slam people, nor to make you envious of how much fun I had while I was there. If you seriously don't want to read it, then don't read behind the cuts.

I make it to the convention. Long drive. Played on my gameboy for a few minutes, then decided to fall asleep, since I couldn't play Magic in the back seat of the car. We stopped for lunch @ Pea Soup Anderson's, where we met up with Bruce & sroth. We ate lunch & were playing "leap frog" on the freeway with them all the way to the con, because they were heading for the same place we were. When we did finally get to the hotel, we were there just a few minutes ahead of them, where as they had beaten us to lunch, so I thought it was a fair trade off. We got our room keys & went to our room, where we discovered that sroth & Bruce were on the same floor & a few doors down. Got a lonf & confusing shpeel about working the consuite as the debate on if I was staff or gofur happened. Wound up being a near-dedicated gofur in the end. Got badge.
I got up around bright & early-ish @ 0700. Woke up my parents & sister as I was getting dressed so I could go downstairs. Had food with the family, then broke off from the main group as I went off to work. Got to sit on the dealer's room door for a half hour, then went upstairs for a Penguin Run. For those of you who do not know what that means, I was an Ice Fetcher. It was fun going into the consuite & helping set up and everything. When I went up there for my noon shift I ran into an old friend, my ex mira_fastfire. At first, this didn't seem like a problem, because I hadn't talked to her since BayCon, I believe. Anyways, the point was I just finished an Ice Run and my paws were hurting, along with my upper back. I was at her mercy while she worked on them, and it felt good. Forgot about my depression for a bit. Later, when we met up with Nikki in the consuite, I only then realized who she was dating. Watching the two of them hurt, because...well.....Mira & I broke up around the order of 4 years ago at a LosCon. This hurt. I was tense, but didn't know where else to hang. I said I was going to go relax, then left for the hot tub. Hung out there for a few minutes & chatted with another gofur. Was still there when mira_fastfire and wolfwings came out to say hi and that they were going to wander or crash. Got out of the hot tub & went to go change, then grabbed my drum to head to filking. Filking that night was dead when I had the drum, so I went up to the consuite. Not to my suprise, mira_fastfire was there by the entrance. Went into a corner & had the drum out for a bit, explaining my sad tale of why LosCon didn't like me and why I was playing the drum to Suze, the Consuite 2nd. Put the drum away, then tried falling asleep. Didn't work, because what actually happened was I was sinking deeper into depression. With neither Anarchy or Mayhem in arms' reach, and my ex standing 40' away from me....I had to fight the temptations to flirt/make out with someone who wasn't mine to make out with. It hurt. Around 11something (I think), Mira notices that I'm in the corner of the room & notices that I'm depressed. I start trying to explain how hard it is for me to sit there & watch, then open the idea of the two of us getting back together. I don't see it as a bad idea, and I know the subject had probably been mentioned at least once before by her. The sad part about this: every time the subject comes up, the answers have all been the same thus far. No. That hurt more than watching Nikki & her make out. That was just painful. I wanted to jump onto the runway in front of an oncomming plane, but she talked me out of it dispite how tempting it was. I finally decided to go up to my room, so I left & got my time for when they wanted me to come back in the morning. Went up to the room & forgot about the retainers for the night because I was too depressed to try and deal with them.
Woke up around 0700. Went downstairs to have breakfast with mdlbear. Ate breakfast, then went downstairs to get my timesheet for the shift, then went to the 17th floor to do my Penguin thing. It happened. Rather uneventful. Wanted to hang out with entrpy but couldn't find him because of the crappy cell reception. There was a reason for crappy phone reception. Actually, there are a couple.
1. The building's over 30 years old.
2. The building has absolutly no cell transmitters what so ever.
Anyways, after a very long & dull day of the con, I finally got to hang out with entrpy at a vampire panel set. I didn't know about those, as I have a bad habit to never look in the program book. Afterwards, we hit a few parties then went down into the basement to do some cross-genre gaming. He was playing his character from MMM, and I was playing my character from the GDI games. I had fun relaying the history to him, as he was very inquisitive....That was probably the only highlite of the day.
Damn, I hate conventions. Only for the last day, if not for any of the other above reasons listed here in this update. Confronting your ex once in a while is nothing compared to the depression you feel of post-con "I won't see you until next year" syndrom. It's annoying. Left the building/con @ 1400, slept in the car the entire way back. If I don't get sleep tonight, that will be why. It's not my fault that it was a long & boring car trip. Honestly.