Do you really want to know?

[chaoswolf]

I think I should warn you, this is a metaphysical post about things that probably don't exist in the first place. Descretion advised.

If the answer is yes, please click behind the cut. I have been a student of metaphysical studies for many years now, and I have been fine with most of it. Unfortunatly, I have been seeing things recently that have been frightening me. I have seen an acquisition of a fellow student who winds up becomming my closest friend, a situation where I am possibly the only one who can save her life. In essence, it will mean life or death. I am not amused by this, but what else can I do? Is this just the way of things? In the words of Steven Barnes' characters Kai & Aiden from the book Lion's Blood: Insh' Allah meaning "If It Is God's Will." I am afraid of this because I also saw another vision where I lose a friend (possibly the same one from the previous vision) in a bloody accident of some sort. I can't tell who it is or what type of accident, but I know it will be painful.

Note: Aliases are used here to conceal identities.
Tonight was a night like any other at first, I came home & did my chores, helping to get the living room picked up to the point where it was workable for our Wed night gatherings. I went to go get my cards around 1930something when Ironclaw showed up and wanted to play a game of magic. I said yes, but after 1 game he started to have a panic attack. This is when Trixy took him outside and talked with him. I waited for about 5 minutes, then went outside myself to try and help. Apparently I walked in at a bad time, and Hopalong shows up, trying to figure out what is going on. Trixy manages to calmly tell him to back off while I snapped & went slightly feral. I released a side I never hoped to release, even if only for a few seconds. Hopalong went back inside and I dropped to my knees, the cold from the weather combined with my brief moment of shock caused me to go back inside. Explained to Hopalong that it wasn't anything personal and that orders from Gaia and the others dictate things unforseen. I play a quick round of Magic with Trixy, then after cuddle up next to her. I remain in her arms for a few minutes, and according to her I was "out of it" for a few minutes. My breathing slowed slightly, I didn't seem to hear her while I was in that state, and I was not reacting to anything she did. This I heard after I came back into the world of reality. In that state, I saw the same vision of a friend dying in an accident of some sort....and it scared me. I don't know who it is, or what the reason is, or anything. Destiny is a bitch. And so am I.

Comments

[writercat84.livejournal.com]

Damn I think we all would like to know who that friend was, ans what sort of accident it was.. I know I would.... *shiver*

[asahoshi.livejournal.com]

If it helps, you can always call me. If I'm not at my house, I'm at Jason's, and you can call me there. I love you.

[sdorn.livejournal.com]

You've experienced something that's extraordinarily disturbing. I'd be scared, too!

I've never had things appear to me when I've been awake, but it seems reasonable to think about them in the same way that I've been advised to analyze dreams: all you know is that sometimes your mind is trying to tell you something directly that you won't face when looking at it directly, sometimes a dream is more obscurely metaphorical, and sometimes a dream is just psychic garbage being taken out to the curb. Your mind's doing some filtering (no matter what your approach to nonmaterial sensory impressions is). It's up to you to figure out which is which based on what else is going on in your life (which is quite a bit!).

[dopple.livejournal.com]

a vision displaying loss does not necessarily indicate actual loss

[jilara.livejournal.com]

I was feeling your energy last night, and the vibes around. And it's primal and powerful stuff. I was severely worried before I even walked up the walk. BTW, you were being psychically drained, and fighting it every step of the way. And the mix was pretty heavy. You're picking up a lot of junk from others and taking it in to neutralize it, and it was pretty heavy-duty, and scrambling your energy. That's why I was asking if you were okay. Now I have a context, which is good.

Be careful. I can speak as someone who's been through a lot of REALLY heavy stuff in this regard. You don't want to get caught in a psychic undertow. I've stood between a number of people and the darkness that way, and it's dangerous as well as scary. Both to your own welbeing if you take on too much and maybe start to join them, and what you have to deal with if you lose one. Because sooner or later, you WILL lose one, if you care enough. Because there is nothing in the universe that you can do, sometimes. And you can beat yourself up a lot, later.

I worry about you, because I understand a lot of what you're running into. And yes, I do believe people meet us because it is a case of the universe trying to do its bit to resolve things. I know you care a lot, but remember to keep enough space to keep yourself safe, too.

[chaoswolf]

I would do both, but you know how bad the phone bill gets around here.

[chaoswolf]

I am making a guess that it's one of 3 people: asahoshi, Mayhem, or Trixy. I told you today (11-4) that there might be a fourth, but I don't know who it is yet.

[asahoshi.livejournal.com]

Do you think there's any possibility that the fourth could be Jason?

[chaoswolf]

Possible, but I don't know him well enough to have an attachment. Emotional or otherwise.