Mental Breakdown

[chaoswolf]

OK, so I had a day of work today. It seemed to be okay, but I seriously feel that I can't do it. I'm going to be away from everything I feel safe around, and SF is no safe place. I thank roaringmouse and co for their willingness to help, though I seriously feel I don't think I can do this. It seems like this line of work will only complicate my life in ways I don't want it complicated. No free time to call my own, and days off only on 2 days out of a normal workweek thay are not the days I want. I seriously cannot do this, I think. I apologize to the inhabitants of Mousehold Heath for their help and support....

I'm scared of some of the answers I got. People like the Republican Gov't. People are condemning me to hell because of my affiliation. People are being scary, and I'm scared. I really really am. I am getting so freaked out by this. And I shouldn't be. But I am....I am sorry.

Comments

[beki.livejournal.com]

*snugs* stick it out as long as you can hon, if nothing else its a resume builder for a job you do want.

[redaxe.livejournal.com]

What she said. Not only is it good on the resume, but it's a good way to essentially tell those same hateful folks to take it and shove it; standing up to such bullies is the only way to get out from under their nastiness.

[drewkitty.livejournal.com]

SHIELDS!

You don't go into close combat without putting on full battle gear including helmet and armor. And you certainly don't do politicking without a healthy dose of "Screw you, then, I'm right and you're wrong."

[mdlbear]

Stick it out for the next three weeks, then if you can't take it quit and go off to Worldcon with a sense of accomplishment and a little extra cash.

Yeah, it's a battlezone out there. But it's something you'll be proud of having done, even if you do burn out in a couple of weeks.

[kitabare.livejournal.com]

I know I don't comment all that often, but I do read.

Honestly kid, it's something you'll have to get used to being in the work force. I work 40+ hours a week, only have Sunday and Monday off. I get to spend maybe an hour or two every couple of weeks with my friends. Work isn't easy, if it was they wouldn't call it work. Don't give up on the first day. Just realize that there are stupid hipocrytes out there with their head stuck so far up their bum that they can't see the truth. Never take it personal.

Give it a few more days before you give up. Go back now with a realization of what you are going to be facing. And definately go with your shields up.

[chaoswolf]

I can't. This job...I can't do. It's not that I don't like the democrats. I love them. Though....this job scares me. I've already called the manager-critter and left a message explaining I had a breakdown after work. I don't think I could go back. Not there.

Take it slow, and don't take it personally

[hvideo.livejournal.com]

While you will meet people from all over the political spectrum, it's important to keep in mind that while they may be noisy and impolite they do not have any power over you unless you let them. You become a convenient way for them to let off steam, but they do not have anything personal against you. They may or may not have anything against your politics. They are just as likely to be upset because they had a bad day at work or fought with their significant other or a host of other reasons. The reason they feel free to dump their emotions on you is because you are both unknown to each other - but because of your job, =you= have to remain polite while they don't. Sometimes a bit of humor can help deflect things, though it can be a bit difficult to judge when to actually say it out loud. But you can mentally think things like: "OK, sir, to the first question you indicated I should (anatomically impossible act 1), to the second question you indicated I should (anatomically impossible act 2) and to the third question you said I should (impossible act 3). I guess I better put you down as "undecided"."

It usually gets easier as you get used to the situation.

Unless the condemnation comes with physical threat

[capplor.livejournal.com]

just laugh it off. I grew up Protestant in a pre-Vatican II Roman Catholic neighborhood. Having everyone think I'm going to hell was pretty normal. And I was 6 when that situation began. Granted, in the environment you've been living, you are in some ways more sheltered than I was, but at some point you've got to face the world on your own.

Work is a grind, but I assume you can't live entirely on your father's investments. Somehow you've got to get used to the idea eventually. Do you think you could handle it better as part-time? This sounds like a job that could be done that way.

Re: Unless the condemnation comes with physical threat

[chaoswolf]

That particular job cannot be done part time. It's sad...I'm gonna try going to Guitar Center and applying there.

[silverstorm2013.livejournal.com]

I hate to see you turn away from something this important without giveing it your all. there are dumb people out there. and you need to fix that.

Give it some more time. If you still feal like you can't hack it then try something else.

Remember that Facts are your Sword and shild in this fight.

[roaringmouse.livejournal.com]

Chaos, I have been trying to call you on the phone. Your Mom said you were still asleep. Craig and I both understand the situation. We didn't realize how much it got to you when you left the house to catch the train. If we had know that you were in upset, we could have drove you home without having to deal with strangers, buses, and trains, etc. Hugs and Kisses.

Auntie Mouse

[chaoswolf]

It didn't get to me until I got home. When I arrived home, my mind exploded and things.

[jilara.livejournal.com]

Wait until you get spat on and told you're part of what's wrong with the world, in alarmingly emphatic terms, because you're *playing a 19th century feminist/suffragette.* True story. No matter who you are or what you're standing for, someone will be against it, even if you're someone else in a different time period. Don't even get me started on the fact I play a Confederate in Civil War reenactments. That war is NOT over.

With regard to politics, I have always said that unless you've been in fear of your life at least once, you're not being effective. I've been an activist for a long, long time, and got my first death threat when I was 15. I've long since lost count of the rest.

You know how you cope? You put up your shields, you get all bright-eyed and idealistic, and ever-so-polite and reasonable. And if you get a vibe that someone is either made of stone or becoming hazardous, you smile and thank them for their time and patience and move on. If nothing else, it confuses them long enough for you to get out of range. I offer this for dealing with Life in General, no matter what you decide on the job. Because you're going to encounter this time and time again, in all sorts of situations.

[johno.livejournal.com]

this is not the wolf I know. Letting someone else's opinion sway her.

[chaoswolf]

It's not so much that someone else's opinion swayed me. It's that their opinion scared me. That happens quite often, but when it scares me like that, I can't handle it.

My wise old father used to say

[capplor.livejournal.com]

"Opinions are like a-holes. Everyone has one."
(heard a variant that went on, "And they all stink")

There are stupid people, ignorant people, and downright crazy people. Two of the three, you can't do anything about, and don't have to beat your head against. You can say "Yessir yessir 3-bags full", and not be a threat. The third, you need to respect and listen to before you have any hope of moving them to your views. Is there ANY context in which you would agree with them? If not, how did they come to their opinions; is it merely lack of information, or different experiences or what?

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Wait, you never understood that there are really people out there who disagree with you in every aspect? And that reality is enough to send you running?

I'm sorry, but that's not acceptable. You are going to have to accept that being an adult means dealing with people who may not share your opinions on anything. Some of these people may be your bosses. Or coworkers that you have to deal with.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Forgive me if this seems a little harsh, but I'm pretty shocked here.

No free time to call my own, and days off only on 2 days out of a normal workweek thay are not the days I want.

What did you expect? You are a grunt-level employee. The job is not there for your benefit, you are their for their benefit, and they set the rules. I was at SuperShuttle for three years before I got one weekend day off. At PODS, I had to work Saturdays. The only reasons I have my weekends now is because we don't do deliveries on Saturday and Sunday.

You take the days you get and work your schedule around that.

People like the Republican Gov't.

Well, what was your first clue? Bush getting two terms, Republican majorities in both houses, GOP appointees dominating the Supreme Court? Of course people support the government. Others oppose it. Called Democracy. Hell, I don't like most of what Bush and Co have done, but I fully support the invasion of Afghanistan and the attempt to tighten our borders. And prepare for shock - in 1988 I voted for Bush. He was, in my mind, the better choice.

People are condemning me to hell because of my affiliation.

So? Just look them in the eye and say "Matthew 7:1." Shuts them right up.

People are being scary, and I'm scared.

So, what are you going to do in a retail job when you get a nutcase customer? Read customers_suck to see what I'm talking about. You mention Guitar Center in another reply.. what do you do when a customer comes in and asks you something, then explodes when you don't have the answer or product?

This is the real world, I'm afraid. You have to learn to take a few body blows and keep going.