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Damn you, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
asahoshi....
If I wasn't so patient with you, I'd probably have ended it by now. Next time you pop online (for a few seconds) without telling me where you're going....I don't know what I'm going to do about it, but it will not be pretty. I'm getting really fucking tired of this shit.
Whenever you're on, I feel better, knowing that you still exist and that I still have a shot in hell seeing you again. When you're not on, I'm all depressed & shit because I'm pretty sure I don't have a shot in hell of seeing you again. It is starting to hurt, and this relationship has lasted 2.5 years already: to break this would kill me almost as much as my last breakup.
Suicidal isn't the right word. Devastated isn't either. Pissed? Frustrated? Depressed? Hopeless? Imagine a combination of the above. All of these seem to be telling my emotions right now, and I'm damned if I know what the fuck I'm going to do about it. E-mail doesn't convey the emotions I want it to, because it's flat & 2 dimensional. Phone calls...I couldn't start to explain my anger.
It's not fair, I know. I also know that life isn't fair either. In any case, this shit will end somehow. I don't care what way I have to end it, but if this continues....believe me it'll be over.
Whenever you're on, I feel better, knowing that you still exist and that I still have a shot in hell seeing you again. When you're not on, I'm all depressed & shit because I'm pretty sure I don't have a shot in hell of seeing you again. It is starting to hurt, and this relationship has lasted 2.5 years already: to break this would kill me almost as much as my last breakup.
Suicidal isn't the right word. Devastated isn't either. Pissed? Frustrated? Depressed? Hopeless? Imagine a combination of the above. All of these seem to be telling my emotions right now, and I'm damned if I know what the fuck I'm going to do about it. E-mail doesn't convey the emotions I want it to, because it's flat & 2 dimensional. Phone calls...I couldn't start to explain my anger.
It's not fair, I know. I also know that life isn't fair either. In any case, this shit will end somehow. I don't care what way I have to end it, but if this continues....believe me it'll be over.
Re: waht the fuck?!
The thing is: on days when I don't see either you or mayhem, I get depressed as hell. On days when you are on, I feel a bit better; same situation with Mayhem. On days when I only see Mayhem & find out through one of your other friends that you won't be home, that sets me off. I'm not mad at you, what I'm mad at is the fact that I find out about your a-wol activities through other people. Gomen-nasi, Danica-chan!