Problems....

[chaoswolf]

• School: What to do? I mean, I’m going to school, I’ve got no idea in mind for a degree because I can’t come up with anything...I hate De Anza now, and my parents think trade school like or massage therapy or something like that will not help me. Dad wants me to get a bachelor’s degree in something, and thinks I’d be good in computers. Last time I tried taking his advice on that, it didn’t work.
• Job-hunting: going to try next Monday to do some mall-crawling for applications. Going to hopefully get somewhere. Not sure yet. Need the money anyways so I can start fixing my finances, and gearing myself up for moving out.
• Moving out: Next big issue. How do I handle this? I am starting to think it’s going to be difficult moving in with grendies for many reasons.
  1. Neither of us has a job, and thus no money to pay for space even if we had one.
  2. Neither of us has a car or license to drive, so getting said job might be a bit more challenging than I had thought it to be.
  3. I respect him as a little brother, but with my flirtatious nature, how does he expect me to keep my visits with my love-life rated to PG 13 when he’s around? (Example being this weekend @ Consonance when he told me & Anne to keep it to PG 13 while he was in the room.)
  4. He thinks he can get money off the Blender thing, followed by his IBO stuff. I am not doubting his ability to do either, though with that plus the visits to VA every so often, how does he expect me to deal with the household finances?
  5. Furthermore: how am I getting out of my parent’s house in his absence?
• Food for thought: The prospect for my album is now a distant future thing, since I’m going to be juggling guitar lessons, school, moving out of my parents’ house eventually, and (hopefully) work around all of this....the first task I suppose is being getting out of mdlbear and flower_cat’s hair. On top of this...what next? I mean, I’ve barely got a vision of where I want to go, and school doesn’t seem to be helping me. It seems to be more a waste of money & time since I don’t have a clear pic of what I want to do with my life, but...Am I really screwed? What now...?

Only thing I can think of is to ask in #callahans to see if anyone’s looking for a room mate. I have never been “on my own” before, but I do have a tent and a cookbook in case things really get bad. I am looking forward to it because I want a taste of reality without a job, and the hassle of finding one without being dependant on my parents. Strange thing to wish for, but there’s a snowball’s chance I will understand life better when I get this wish. And I’m not sure how to deal with it. Help me here, folks. Open to suggestions.

Comments

[grendies.livejournal.com]

1. We have already discussed this, several times. The plan from the start was that we would wait at least 6-12 months before even considering setting a moving date. That way not only would we both have plenty of time to obtain established incomes, but we would have time to plan out how the finances would work out before setting absolute deadlines.

2. We have already discussed this several times as well. We agreed that moving to some place on or near the bus route would be for the best because A) in case neither of us were able to drive either for lack of license or for lack of car (i.e. in the shop) and B) because it might be cheaper to use the bus system now and then to get to some places along the bus route even if we did have a car.

3. I had asked if you and Anne would be willing to keep it PG 13 while I was in the room we were sleeping in for the two or three days that we were at con; I don't fancy the idea of waking up in the middle of the night to the sounds of you two fornicating. I fail to see how that relatively minor request says that you two couldn't flirt all you wanted, nor do I see how it implies that you aren't able to have a love life with your girlfriend when I am around. Normally I would assume that you would keep your relationship with your girlfriend out of the R rating when you have friends in the same room anyway, but I decided to make that request just in case. I have said NOTHING to the effect of "you have to keep your visits with your love-life rated to PG 13 when I'm around", nor do I appreciate you implying that I had.

4. I am fully aware that it will be (or, should I say, would have be) expensive to rent a two-bedroom apartment after taking into consideration of all the extra expenses. Not even taking into account the income from Blender and my IBOship I have stated many times that I will [would have] obtain a job after moving to Starport. Initial money from the aforementioned forms of incomes would go towards paying rent to your parents for me to live there and to go towards saving up money so that we wouldn't start renting without money set aside. Again, we have already discussed this several times. I was not expecting you to deal with household finances any more than I would be dealing with them. To be perfectly honest I wasn't expecting you to deal with them as much as I would be dealing with them because you're going to college and wouldn't have as much time to put towards earning money and/or dealing with bills.

5. I'm not entirely certain I understand how this has to do with the idea of us moving in together. A) I would only be absent for the next four months or so. A family emergency has come up, but that's part of the reason for the 6-12 month minimum wait I suggested in the first place, to accommodate for the unexpected. B) Use the bus? How have you been getting out of your parents house all along? C) If we are living together in an apartment, you wouldn't be living with your parents, so how does this question apply to our moving in together in the first place?



I really don't know what to say. If you don't want to move into an apartment with me you could have simply said it to my face rather than posting about how you don't want to in livejournal behind my back and supplying dodgy reasons --three of which we've already discussed in the past, one of which I'm assuming was a misunderstanding and should have been objected to if you didn't like it, and one of which I suspect doesn't really apply-- of why it wouldn't work.

I don't know whether to be hurt or insulted by the fact that you didn't say anything to me about this. The fact that you didn't tells me that either you don't care how I feel, you don't respect me enough to even tell me in person when plans that directly involve my life in a major way (and for the record, I consider moving 3000 miles away from my family and the majority of my friends to be a major life decision) change drastically, or you simply don't want us to move in together and were afraid I would get upset or something like that (in which case I have failed in that I wasn't clear enough whenever I would tell you that if you had any objections to us moving in together that all you had to do was tell me).